Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Some thoughts on WHY

What a week this has turned out to be. It just started out horrible. Now, after the Virginia Tech massacre, we're all left to wonder why it happened. We may find out why this apparent loner did his evil deed, but why as a society does this happen? It's a recent phenomenon; it used to never happen, and even a generation ago, it was a very rare occasion. Even my generation rarely saw school shootings - that's why Columbine caught us off guard. I was just out of high school when it happened, and it blew my mind that two children would even want to kill fellow classmates at the rate they did.
So why have we seemingly lost control of ourselves? The answers aren't simple, but they are out there. First of all, somewhere along the line we lost our coping skills. We have started to grey the area between right and wrong. Revenge has become ours. I think a lot of this comes from the lack of discipline at home. But a lot of it also is the over-burdening of our youth. The pressure is so great on kids to not only be smart but also involved that they fail at both so often and then feel horrible. Remember when you might have homework for the evening but your weekends were almost always yours? We've lost that. Kids now have sporting events during the evening, games on the weekend, part-time jobs, and on top of that are expected to give of themselves for nothing on a regular basis (volunteering). Now don't get me wrong. I have nothing against volunteering, it's something very precious especially in a free society. But kids should not be expected to during the school year. During the school year they need to be focused on schoolwork. If they have time, a part-time job isn't a bad idea for the older ones approaching adulthood.
Secondly, our society has become violence-hungry. We crave horror movies, shoot-em-up video games, and violent "sports" like boxing. We'e started to assimilate these into our lives and consciousness. This starts leading weaker minds to these extreme measures to seek resolution to their real or imagined grievances.
So where do we go from here? Let me pull from my experience and what I wish I'd had growing up as it seems its started in my generation.
1. Take the focus off sports and other extra-curricular activities. Friday night games need to go. High schools should play on Saturday morning so kids can go back home and relax and do homework afterwards. Use the extra time to focus more on academics. Have tutors available to students struggling with their studies.
2. Every student should have to attend a stress-management class periodically through their school years. They need to learn how to manage their time just as much as their money. They need to learn how to deal with stress. They need to be able to have someone they can truly call on when they're feeling overburdened. This requires taking the stigma away from counseling.
3. The community needs to support their youth instead of just painting them all "hoodlums" and trouble-makers. Give them opportunities to volunteer during the summer.
4. Parents need to re-learn how to "crack the whip" so to speak. We need to return discipline to the home and school - as long as it's not abused. Parents and teachers who abuse this need to be imprisoned and stripped of their rights to be around children. Kids need clear expectations, structure, discipline - and love. They need rewards and words of support just as much. Kids' self-esteem is in its fragile beginnings, and how we treat it while they're young determines how strong they will be as adults.
I hope somehow we figure out how to get back control of our society to the point where these shootings are no longer commonplace once again. I await that day!

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