Something to Think About

Sometimes things are just better left unsaid. Take for example the guy
fussing over whether his woman is wearing coordinated underwear. He'd
just be better advised to let her wear what she wants - so long as
she's not going to embarrass herself - rather than cause a stir over
something only the two of them would even know about. Or take the
unemployed person who only gripes about how rough they have it and
dragging down those who have already had a rough enough day instead of
focusing on being positive.
Now the cases I just cited have gone on around me, whether online or
in IRL, and for civility's sake, I've kept my mouth shut. Why? Because
some things aren't meant to be made into mountains. They're molehills
better avoided - or even ignored altogether when they're not yours to
begin with.
Why do I bring this up? Because people like me with hot tempers tend
to forget this all too often. While I keep my mouth shut when it's not
my place to open it, I do tend to let loose when it's nothing more
than a small pile of debris to say the least. This has been my problem
as of late. Sometimes I forget how lucky I am, how much worse it could
be... Even worse, being around some people have subconciously started
affecting who I am, to the point that I realized I was starting to
lose my own identity. This is NEVER a good thing. Without
self-identity, all is lost for sure.
So what do I plan to do about it? First of all, I got to pull back and
get back to the formula that I KNOW works for me - and for all
involved. My cats deserve an emotionally stable "mom" and my better
half doesn't deserve my emotional swings, mental breakdowns, and
arguments over the "small stuff." Don't get me wrong, I'm not blaming
ANYONE in my life for what's happened to me. I have just forgotten my
own identity, and how I best make relationships work. My being pushy
and forceful will not work. My being completely submissive will not
work either. There is a line inbetween the two, and for each person,
that line is in a very unique position. For some it's more towards the
independent, strong-willed side. For others, it's more towards the
submissive, dependent on others side. Mine is more towards the middle.
I do have my independent side, but when the going gets tough, the one
having problems can always count on the other to help them out. That's
how we work here. We don't work as one boss and one employee so to
speak. One of us doesn't "wear the pants" while the other is the
"weaker" one. We operate as a team, and a lot of people don't
understand us. But our way of operating has worked very efficiently
for 5 years now, and so my breakdown has led to a bit of team friction
so to speak. Thus the importance of getting ME back stable is critical
to the US team.
Now why am I publishing this for the whole world to read? Not because
I'm airing laundry - notice I left out details? LOL... I'm doing this
so that each of my readers can see that no two relationships are the
same - and therefore don't judge someone else's based on their own.
My Mom for example - bless her heart - had been mistreated, used and
abused most of her life by the men in her life. I think it was more
because she was independent drawn to men that instead wanted
submissive and either would slowly change into some woman she wasn't
born to be or would hold her ground to the point it got physical. This
is the reason Mom kept men away - from her AND from me - while I was
growing up. Of course I didn't realize this until I'd grown up and
fully understood what she went through and why she tried to protect me
from it. She decided she'd rather me not have any male figures in my
life than me have to see her in any way other than the strong,
dependable, loving Mother I knew her to be. She didn't want me to grow
up one of them kids seeing one parent beating up or belittling the
other. She wanted me to see that I didn't need anyone attached to me
to make me a whole woman. For this I give Mom all the credit in the
world. She's the reason I am as strong as I am - even when I don't see
it or believe it.
So what are you going to focus on today? Are you going to focus on the
negatives in and around your life? Or are you going to remain
positive, focus on improving who YOU are without changing your core
identity? And do you know who you REALLY are?