Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Random musings of a human

There is nothing more precious than the unfettered, unconditional (albeit actually semi-conditional) love of a cat. To have had it so many times is truly amazing. Snowflake didn't love me at first; he HATED me at first. I was an intruder in his universe; but once he got the unconditional love from me and realized that I did love him so much, well that hatred didn't last. He still would occasionally take a swipe at my ankle as I passed but it was definitely playful and not an aggressive movement. We went through a lot together, and it literally brought me to my knees to send him to the Bridge. He was my first cat and I credit him for teaching me about cats and just how loving and loyal they can be. Curzon would find me a few months later, and that history has been well documented. Rescuing him and his sister was as much a rescue as their rescuing me from the darkness that had enveloped me at that dark time in my life. They taught me all about kittenhood and truly gave me the first lessons I would later need for Nimbus. I didn't think I could love another cat as much as I do the twins - Jadzia and I used to literally talk (although I have no idea what I meowed or what she meowed back, but for her first few months, if I meowed she came - why she stopped I don't know). Nimbus showed me love on a whole different PLANE of existence. And as he fought his way back from illness after illness the last half of his too-short life, he taught me more of perseverance than I could've ever imagined. I've been through a lot - but nothing like that cat had. Never once did he complain, hardly ever did he protest. He never got angry, never sulked off and pouted like a baby, even when his mother was so mean to him. I will remember his last two breaths for the rest of my life and probably get weepy every time, but in the end there is no other way I would rather he had left. Snowflake died head in my hand, face just a few inches from mine. Nimbus went in my arms on my chest, feeling the same love that Snowflake did. While I would rather the twins live forever, I am grateful that Nimbus' suffering was short and relatively painless. Watching Sniffie deteriorate, even from afar, was too painful. Cancer is evil, and should be on the top of the cure list as far as I'm concerned. We have lost too many humans and anipals. So you can well imagine the concern that the twins must endure. Jadzia has this tiny little bump on her left side of her neck. Its been there for YEARS and, while barely noticeable to anyone but me, I do keep a fairly close feel on it. I know what it isn't but at the same time the worrywart that I am has to keep an eye out. You should've seen me when Curzon was about to lose one of his milk teeth... and then seen the what the **** look on my face later that day when I discovered that his sister somehow sometime before had lost the same three (and then the shame in myself that I hadn't noticed the loss of Curzon's first two or Jadzia's three missing ones). I kept a watchful eye on the boy when I discovered one of his top fangs had lost the tip. He somehow managed to resharpen that thing by himself and now unless you're looking close, you can't tell one fang is slightly longer than the other. Yep, that's my twins, insisting on being twins and as self-reliant as possible.
Watching the news lately has me a little sad... seeing the devastation in Oklahoma is just disheartening... this isn't the first time that I've seen that poor town destroyed. I do think the last time was worse, just on the destructiveness of that monster tornado, but this one... this one I think was nature's way of reminding all of us who is in control - and its surely not us. Having lived through two tornados myself I know the power of these monsters and yet every time another one hits, its as raw as the first time. I sat and cried in front of the tv years ago after Greensburg, and again when I saw the meterologist (I think it was Mike Bettis - was one of The Weather Channel guys) arrive at the hospital in Joplin just after the tornado hit. There is no more helpless feeling. But I assure you - there is a sense of community that very few other places have that will get them through. Moore may be down, but all in all, they will be back. A few will not return but the majority will, with the community's help. Please, if you can, give a little to the Red Cross. Their efforts in natural disasters is amazing and they are the only charity anymore that I feel that I can trust enough to recommend. Purrs and prayers for all of them.
And one final note. The lady that I consider my adopted mum is a grandma again! My dear I guess almost sister in law had a beautiful baby girl last Thursday - 9lb 7oz. Hey doc I thought you didn't want her having another big one! Sheesh! I just got the message over the weekend and haven't had the chance to talk to mum since before the baby came. I can't wait to see pictures... and knowing mum she will be sending some soon! I know my Mom is beaming too... she knew mum and liked her too so I know that she's been watching.

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