Thursday, September 25, 2014

Resolute Flashback

Nim was so determined to get through his last emergency. He knew I was going to give him every chance I could. He tolerated more pills than any animal ever would - at one point he was getting 5 at a time. We tried, Cod knows we tried. Yet it still feels inadequate. As anyone who's been a near-full time caregiver to a sick and dying animal will attest to, letting go and admitting you couldn't "fix it" is the hardest part. I'd helped pull Nim from the brink TWICE before. I honestly thought I could a third time, though our vet wasn't so optimistic. But even in this picture taken just days before he left us, you can see in those tired eyes the "I know you're trying, thank you, I love you mama" in there. I still can't barely look at his final picture. If you go back in my history I'm sure it's there somewhere here on the blog. I just don't want to go there. This isn't meant to be a sad post. It's meant to be a hug to all of those who have had to say goodbye lately. I know what it feels like. I know what it's like to question if you did enough, and honestly years later, I still do on occasion. But please KNOW that you did... every last one of us loves our babies to the end of the world, they're not just cats. If they were, we surely wouldn't let them blog, would we? Take comfort in knowing you're not alone.

Special hugs to KarenJo. And I apologize I don't have time to swing by anyone's blog and comment, I've got a LOT going on here. I'm literally scheduling a couple posts as I can in the few minutes I can between things. Please, someone make sure that KarenJo sees the long-distance hug. Thanks.



Summer said...

We were very sad to hear about Brody over at Karen Jo's blog too. And my human totally knows where you are coming from. Totally.

Brian106sc said...

It is so difficult and our Dad still struggles about what happened with Ivan.

Quinn from Catitude said...

It is hard to let them go. It isn't easy to remember sometimes. But that's love, isn't it.