Out of the PDA Archives LOL

I was emailed this ages ago... thought I'd share.

Is That Legal?
By Don Rittner

I remember reading a column by commentator Hugh Downs recently. He
was talking about moronic laws that can still be found on the books in
some communities and States although they may have been passed a
hundred years ago.
Downs gave a few examples such as an incident where a Michigan man,
who fell out of his canoe, received 90 days in the jail because he
swore within earshot of children. It just so happens that there is a
102 year old law that prohibits swearing in front of kids.
He also mentioned the Connecticut law that forbids anyone to go to
church unarmed. The prohibition dated from the era of the Puritans
when churchgoers carried rifles to guard against the possibility of
Indian attack. In nearby Massachusetts, it's illegal to shave while
driving. In Atlanta, it's illegal to tie a giraffe to a telephone
pole. Well of course! Everyone knows that.
I knew that here in the Empire State, a State so filled with
intelligent people, it would be near impossible to find such silly
laws.
Hold on to your "Get Out Of Jail" card!
In Smithtown, dogs can't bark for more than 15 minutes at a time.
Punishment for the third infraction is a $500 fine and a 15-day jail
sentence, but I can't figure out if it is the owner or the dog that
does the time.
You can be sent to jail if you open your umbrella in the presence of
a horse in New York City, and it is forbidden to shoot rabbits from
the back end of a Third Avenue streetcar when it is moving. Donkeys
are not allowed to sleep in bathtubs in Brooklyn.
In Woodstock, it is illegal to walk your bear on the street without a leash.
In Ocean City, it's illegal for men to go topless in the center of town.
On Staten Island, you may water your lawn only if the hose is held in
your hand,
In Greene, it's illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the
sidewalks when a concert is on.
In Carmel, a man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants
that don't match. Some would argue that this one should be a State
law!
Why not? New York's statewide laws are just as silly. Frogs may be
taken from their ponds from June 16 to September 30, but only between
sunrise and sunset. Any "overt physical action" intended to frighten
fish is prohibited in the State. You cannot "harass" the endangered
Karner Blue Butterfly even by photographing it (but if you own the
land it's on you can bulldoze it).
It's against the law to do anything that's against the law in NY.
Citizens may not greet each other by "putting one's thumb to the nose
and wiggling the fingers". It is illegal for a woman to be on the
street wearing "body hugging clothing," however, women may go topless
in public, providing it is not being used as a business.
Yes, there's more! You can be fined $25 for flirting. This oldie
specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and
looking "at a woman in that way." Do it a second time and the male is
forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" anytime he goes outside for
a walk.
It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head in New York
for fun. Does that mean it's ok if you don't like the guy?
A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline.
The penalty for jumping off a building is death. Duh!
A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in
his/her pocket.
While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his
hands while looking toward the door.
Slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 P.M.
Ok, so you think there can't be anything so silly here in the Capital
District, right?
In Albany, kids were not allowed to sleigh down any hill within the
city in 1713. Constables were allowed to smash their sleds at the
scene of the "Crime."
If you think Albany was rough, Troy isn't much better! It is still
illegal to let your swines, horses, sheep, goats, geese, and dogs run
wild in the streets. Oh yeah, kids are not allowed to play ball
either!