Thursday, October 20, 2016

Happy Gotcha Day Jadzia!

WOW! How do I top that? Go brofur! Does this mean I get to get him out finally? What? I'm stuck with him FOREVER?
MMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!
This isn't fair!


Shhhh little princess...


Mom I'm not a princess, except for daddy's...


Ok, QUEENIE....


MUCH better mom.


Now Jazzy darling you know you'd be miserable without your brother...


BUT...


I know Jaz, he's stinky. He's noisy. He's a bully sometimes. He's your brother. He loves you. He would kill anything or anyone that hurt you. Every time you cry he comes running. Oh and YOU little lady can be quite stinky too...


MOM!


I didn't say you were often. Just when you're not feeling well or when you're a naughty girl and don't poo where you're supposed to.


That's because...


No excuse, baby. Sorry. Anyways, it's your day today, and if your gut was being better I'd give you wet food. But you're already having stool issues, the last thing I wanna do is make it worse. So in lieu of stinky goodness im gonna let you fatten up on treats. Just today. Just you. I'll lure Cur into the bathroom and then lock him in there.


You know he's just gonna meow and scratch and complain like the...


So are you don't forget that... LOL. Now Jaz I promise I'll pamper you.


I don't like your idea of "pampering"... it either involves water, cuddles, or (worst of all) KISSES.


Well I sure as hell ain't licking you.


EW human germs! It's actually a good thing you furless apes don't bathe like we do. You'd be even stinkier!


Look who's talking, lady that can lick her own butt...


HEY! How else am I supposed to clean it?


POINT.
So anyways, happy gotcha day to the most beautiful ladycat ever. And the best mama cat ever. I can't possibly forget when I first laid eyes on you, when you tried to leap out of the human that was holding you's hands to get to your brofur. You were absolutely filthy beyond words. You were barely any healthier than him. And then you showed just how much a bad@** you were - and still are. You may be a diva, but you're my diva... And you sure gave daddy a thorough interview... what a DECADE? We are a family, princess - queenie - the 4 of us. And while we were once 5, we all know he's not far. That being said, meowing at the ceiling isn't going to work. Sorry lass.
I love you, queenie. No more than your brother. No less than your brother. Yes, I saved you. But you two saved me too.

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